I'm So Excited?

Well.  It has apparently been over 6 months since my last post, so that must mean it's time for a new one.  Things have happened.  One day I'll probably talk about those things.  For now, one thing is happening for sure.  I am pregnant. 12 weeks to the day.

It is generally not socially acceptable to admit that you are maybe, just maybe, not 100% thrilled to be expecting a baby.  Yes, it was (more or less) planned, and yes, I am aware that I am lucky to be in a position to both want a baby and have a baby.  But... it's hard to be really excited when you're exhausted and nauseated all the time.  Also, flashing back to baby Anna, I almost died the first time I had a baby (I'll save that story for another time) and then that baby screamed nonstop for 3 months.  Turns out Coach Carr was close to right.

And this probably goes under the heading "Shallower Concerns," but I feel really unhappy, body image-wise.  It doesn't help that I'm starting this pregnancy 20 pounds heavier than the last.  Smaller people get this adorable "baby bump."  I, on the other hand, have two rolls - the lower one is probably partially the baby, while the upper one is leftover fat and all the organs that have been displaced by said baby.  Not cute.  None of my regular clothes really fit anymore, but I still can't wear most maternity clothes.  Just ugh.  Even my 5-year-old is shaming me for wearing sweatpants most days at home.

So, I'm pretty sure when I originally thought about writing this post (a few weeks ago), I intended it to be wittier and have a more positive tone at the end.  But it's late.  I'm tired.  I feel like throwing up.  Don't worry, I'm not usually this self-pitying, but right now:

Mean Girls to the rescue!