Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Why the Whole30?

Alternatively titled:  Bobby Hill is my spirit animal.


When I told my husband that I was going to start the Whole30 program, for real this time (unlike the bajillion other times I have talked about trying an elimination diet), I'm pretty sure his eyes almost rolled right out of his head.  I was tempted to be mad at him, but honestly I get it.  I probably rolled my eyes at myself when I first started considering it.  I have a deep aversion to trendy fad diets, and as a general rule I distrust programs that want you to cut out entire food groups.

But.

After a lot of reading about the program and other people's experiences with it (I am a champion researcher, a.k.a. underpants collector - just ask my poor dissertation advisor!), I have a lot more respect for the premise.  If you have been living under a rock, the Whole30 basically advocates that you cut out potentially problematic food for 30 days, to give your body a chance to recuperate, and then slowly and one at a time reintroduce those foods to see how they affect you.  It is not a diet, nor are they expecting or even really advising you to continue this forever.  Ideally, you'll identify things that may be screwing with you mentally and health-wise. 

And y'all - I have a lot of weird, unpleasant health things.

1.  Migraines:  This is the biggest reason I want to try this program.  I have headaches constantly.  I have a headache right this minute, and it has not gone away for the past 2 weeks.  A lot of the time, those headaches turn into migraines.  I probably get 6-8 full blown migraines a month right now.  I have tried all the drugs, and am currently on a nightly muscle relaxer to try to get a handle on them (not sure it's working, but it's better than the nightmare Topamax that ruined my life for months).

2.  IBS:  Not 100% sure I have this exactly, but I have a lot of the same symptoms, most of the time.  It is definitely worse when I'm stressed or have a headache, but at least that's only 90% of the time, right?  Wait...

3.  Unexplained Shoulder/Neck/Arthritis problems:  For the past two years, I've been dealing with unexplained, extremely tight and inflamed shoulders and neck.  This leads to tension headaches, numb or tingling arms, shooting pains, etc.  I've stretched, I've gone to physical therapy, I've had two MRIs and nerve conduction testing.  No one can tell me why this is happening.  My neurologist finally threw up his hands and declared that I probably have arthritis.  Unfortunately, he was kind of terrible, and gave me zero follow-up information on how to deal with this.  He may not be right, but it would explain other problems I have with various joints.  (Told you I was secretly 80).

4.  Other Crap:  Fatigue.  Occasional bouts of depression.  Total inability to focus.  Terrible immune system.  You get it.

And like most of America, I have a problem with sugar.  Like, I need a Hershey's kiss after every meal at the very least.  Yes, this includes breakfast.  I have been known to become angry and resentful when there isn't any ice cream in the house.  In short, I love sugar, but sugar is basically running the show around here.  And as my mother always tells me: "You know, you'd feel better if you ate less bread.  You eat A LOT of bread."  Thanks, Mom.


I'd be lying if I denied that I'm at least partially hoping to lose a little bit of weight while doing this.  I don't care so much about the scale number, but my clothes are not fitting right (and by not right - I clearly mean tight).  A few years ago I went to the doctor because of all of the above reasons.  I felt terrible ALL of the time.  The doctor shrugged, told me to lose some weight, and handed me a helpful pamphlet on ways to exercise, like parking farther from the store.


Look, do I need to lose about 15 pounds? You bet.  But at 5'6" and under 160 pounds, I am not obese (not that anyone should ever have their health concerns dismissed so easily, no matter what they weigh!!).  I was so pissed at her that I immediately hit up Culver's on the way home and got a custard concrete mixer two sizes larger than normal.  "Oh, yeah, doctor lady, think you're so smart? Nobody tells me to stop eating!!"  And then I felt terrible. 

Soooo, yeah.  I am going to attempt the Whole30. 

But first I am going to eat pizza tonight.




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